I read an article recently from the Australian Breastfeeding Association about the normal amount of night feeds and night wakings for babies 6-12 month old. After having two children, both polar opposites in their sleep habits, I found this very interesting.
In the study they said that only 21% of babies between 6-12 months of age didn’t wake during the night.
Did you think that would be more or less?
I bet there is always one mum, you know the one mum whose baby has slept through the night from 6 months or even earlier. And just because their baby is sleeping through, you think you must be doing something wrong. Guess what, you’re not!
Most of us struggle through little or no sleep for at least the first 12 months. Not something you want to hear but it’s true.
I guarantee if you asked 100 parents, 80-90 of them would be experiencing the same things you are going through, some probably worse but we only seem to remember the babies who are sleeping better than ours.
We also don’t openly share our experiences as we feel we will be judged and don’t want to be viewed as a bad parent when everyone else appears to have it together.
So many of us put ourselves under so much pressure and get frustrated because we want the baby who sleeps through. And of course who doesn’t want that baby! To wake up feeling refreshed not trying to pry your eyelids open.
We fell for the comparison trap and it was the assumption our second baby would sleep as well as our first. Our first child was pretty much a textbook baby, but our second child on the other hand was very different.
Unfortunately we had already expected our second child to be the same as our first. When she wasn’t sleeping for as long or settling as easy as her brother we started to get frustrated and went looking for solutions.
Luckily for us after 8 months of torturing ourselves with trying to ‘train’ her to sleep better, we read a book that changed everything. It was Pinky Mckay’s book ‘Sleeping Like a Baby’. After the first chapter we woke up to ourselves. There was one thing that we needed to change and fast.
It wasn’t anything to do with our daughter, it was our mindset.
We were so frustrated by her not sleeping as well as expected. But we quickly realised that we had wasted so much time that could have been better used enjoying her for who she was.
Mindset is one of the most important things to learn as a new parent.
If you expect too much you will end up frustrated, cranky and your baby can start to mirror your mood.
Be grateful that you get to spend quality time with your baby. It’s easy to get frustrated by the lack of sleep, and I put my hand up and can say lack of sleep has got the best of me a few times.
But don’t forget they are learning as well, so be patient and show love. You’d be surprised how much better your baby sleeps when you are calm and happy.
You just need to manage it the best you can. I’m not saying it’s impossible to help your baby sleep better, but don’t expect perfect or you will be disappointed.
Hope some of that helps.
To get the FREE first chapter of Sleeping Like a Baby just visit https://www.pinkymckay.com/sleeping-like-a-baby/